You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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