i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
