Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
