the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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