just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
