Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
