I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
