I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
