Have you finally orgasmed yet?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
