I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Dignity is for republicans.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
