So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
