the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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