PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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