Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
