redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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