can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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