I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
