She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
