Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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