She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i would punch a child for taco bell
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
