If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
