There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
