I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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