my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
This is classic penis vs brain.
Sext me about skeletons
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
