Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
