i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
