i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
