Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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