he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
