Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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