god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
