So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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