i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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