You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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