I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
