party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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