Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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