I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
