so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize