Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
