Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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