Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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