Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She's the barista slut.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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