Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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