just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
