is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
