Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
