He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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