last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I think people are normalizing furries
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
