In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
