I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
