I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
