Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
