I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
