this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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