Pants 0. Shit 1.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I would fuck him just for his dog
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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