She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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