did you get engaged???
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
she peed on how many people?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
