you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
