Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Watching her eat just hurts me
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
