If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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