Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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