All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
