my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
