Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
